As Mother Philip entered, she screamed so loud I think she woke up China. Her face turned pale white and Philip shimmied his way out as I made a break for the bathroom. When I finally got the door to close after what seemed like 1000 years, I leaned against the door and slid down slowly.... completely naked, by the way. Finally, Philip's mom stopped screaming and this is what she said, " I know that this family has a procreating attitude, just look at all my grandkids. That's fine, Phil Phil. I just don't think its the right time for you to be having children. She's beautiful, sure, she would give me beautiful grandchildren, but your 24 years old. I am going to get you a condom from my room." Philip responds, "Mom, seriously... that's weird." To which she replied, "Hang on, baby, I will be right back."
At this point, I realized that he did have a condom on... and something didn't feel right. It was stuck in me. So while the most awkward conversation known to man was going on outside the bathroom, the most awkward moment I've ever had with myself was going on inside the bathroom. I did fish it out though.
A few minutes later, she says good night. I walk out... Philip waves the condom around with this naughty, naughty look on him face. Without saying one word, we smile at each other, LOCK THE DOOR, and move our party down to the floor.
If only booty buddies could last forever...
Kisses,
***Your Ex Girlfriend***
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